I am more thankful than I can articulate into words, but I am going to try my darndest! I summoned up a TON of courage to get to my 15-minute monthly psychiatric appointment. I was panicky at first, but the Dr. is a wizard at keeping me in check and I made it through my THIRD psych visit without a hitch.
My meds seem to finally be in a good place. I have an anti-anxiety medicine that FINALLY seems to make me feel human and normal, and I'm only taking half of the dose my Dr. initially recommended. I won't name names with what I'm taking, but if you're ever interested, I am more than happy to disclose in a less public forum. I have also found an increase in magnesium to be incredibly beneficial, both through making an effort to eat magnesium rich foods and through taking a daily supplement.
I've gone out a little bit this week - just little things like Target, Subway, Giant, Trader Joes, etc. I wasn't always able to make it into the store (TJs can be really intimidating given that it's overcrowded 24/7) but just being in the parking lot felt enough for me during those times.
And I am making some strides in therapy and on my own. I am hoping to see people soon (when the time is right and I am ready)...as an ESTJ Myers-Briggs, the saddest part of this whole period of my life has been the loneliness/fear. I miss you all - tell me how you're doing. I love hearing what's going on in others' lives.
But we are talking victories here. And for the ones I've had, I am incredibly thankful to my support system and to God. Busy and productive week - lots of cooking, cleaning, Pinterest ideas coming to life to save us some money and we just signed on to live in our current apartment for six more months. The lease expired in June, but we wanted to give me more recoup time and us more time to find a really nice next home that we will love.
Good weather this week too....good weather=good vibes and thoughts. I'll take it.
-L
Even though I have been talking to you a lot more lately than I have in the last dozen years since the days of high school choir and a place called Stodia, I just want you to know I'm here for you if you ever need anything. I am so proud of you for putting this all out there in the open and being so vulnerable about it. You're stronger than you might sometimes think!
ReplyDeleteI patiently await the days you are ready to come back out and have visitors, and go out to dinner with the girls. A dozen years is far too long to not have seen you - when you are ready, I will plan a trip to Quakertown and we will go out. Take your time. Go at the pace that is comfortable for you. Just know you have people who care about you, waiting on the outside. <3